just a medical student

This is my place. Please leave.

just a medical student

This is my place. Please leave.

we found love on a warm summer day, under a blue sky

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آذر

i can not deny, im tearing apart. But i wont tell him. Im not gonna make him sad. I love him too much. 

The thought of him with someone else...

This is really hard, really.

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آذر

i know it will all pass. I know we are going to make each other very happy. I know i just have to hold on.

I always said i want someone to he my wings so that i can fly. I never told him about this. Today he sent me a link of his picture. It was from four years ago with this caption:

“Grab my hand, I’ll  help you fly, you just have to trust me.”

I had goose bumps! How can i ever stop loving him really?

۲۸
آذر

im not gonna sleep with  anyone.

Are you saying that just to make me feel better? Dont worry, im making myself accept it.

My mom always told me when i wanna choose a wife, i should never except her to change. 

Im not your wife.

But when i want to choose i want you just the way you are, without a change.

I promise im gonna stalk the hell out of you when you want to choose a wife.

No one has ever loved me like you do.

Told ya.

At the end of it all, you are going to be mine.

۲۷
آذر

today was a total hell. I did the hardest thing ever. I told him to sleep with anyone you want but never tell me about it.

He says he is nervous that deep down im still sad. 

Of course i am. He broke me. It takes time to heal. Im sad and it hurts. Everything hurts. Can i ever be that happy again?

He said “ I shouldn’t have asked you to be my girlfriend. Im not a gf type.” You wanna break up i said? He said of course not. Lol.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Im not a princess and this aint a fairytale...

۲۶
آذر

he broke my heart. I heard it break.

I told him that if he wants to sleep with someone i am not in his way. If he doesnt want to, it must be because of his feelings not because of what i want. 

Well, obviously i thought he is going to say i love you and i wont sleep with another woman. But he didnt! 

I told him so you wanna sleep with someone? He said yes. I asked who? And he named that one person...

I knew she had a crush on him. He kept saying she is not going to sleep with someone unless she is married to him. Dont worry. Lol.

When i got sad, he got angry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout at him, i wanted to tell him he broke my heart... but i didnt.

I cried for like ten minutes, my pants were wet from my tears. Then i stopped. I cant cry now. I just have a heartache. Something inside of me hurts. It really hurts.

He broke my heart, and he doesn’t even know it.

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آذر

He was drunk a bit, kept saying i love you.

۲۴
آذر

we video called, we looked at each other in silence.  I fell in love with him all over again.

۲۳
آذر

im so in love right now.

۲۲
آذر

he said “ im sorry im not around because im busy” and i told him “ youre around as much as you can and thats what matters”

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آذر

he cried. His mother had a medical problem and he was frustrated that he is not with her. That he cant help her. It broke my heart. :(

But also made me love him even more. He is a kind and caring person. Not every one is like that.