day 1

i spent the whole day worrying. i'm always like that. when someone i care is taking a plane, i follow their flight info, i put timer, i check everything so many times that i tire myself. 

and he, well he is the most precious person after my family. it was a long flight, 25 hours. i could tell he is really tired. he had bags under his eyes, and his skin was not as bright as usual. see? i know him too well. 

i love him, i searched for love too much and when i had no hope, it came out of no where. the feeling is too strong to end the relationship. so we are gonna ignore the fact that he is almost 7 thousand miles away from me. we are going to ignore the fact that i have still 4 years of university left. i know the possibility of us seeing each other in these 4 years are really low, we both do! but we have hope. that keeps us going.

i never thought i could want someone this much. i didnt think i have it in me, but... life has a funny way of proving you wrong.

any way, i cried. i cried a lot. the thought that we might never see each other was killing me, until he video called and i saw he was really excited and happy and he said he wouldnt change me for the world. that made me smile. the warm feeling of love reached out to my cheeks and made me blush. 

the thing thats bothering me is the time difference. 12 hours can not be ignored. literally, my day is his night and vice versa. but we can make it. he woke up this afternoon, we talked. he showed me around his house. talked me through his plans for today. we laughed, we shared pictures. he sent me videos of everything. he knows i worry a lot. he knows i care too much, and he likes it. and i like that about him.

i feel emotionally fragile for now. but im gonna be ok. everything is going to be ok. im sure of it.