Day 90

he is my super cute perfect man. All mine. ^-^

Day 89

he doesnt back down. He tries to make me feel better and that means a lot.

Day 88

im getting worse. I just hope this week passes faster. 

He video called me while biking and talked to me and showed me around. He also showed me one of his sopts that he had found in the middle of the woods.

Day 87

i feel much better. Although theres a stomachache that wont leave me alone. He went on a hike today. The pictures he took were perfect. He is perfect. Im so happy he is socializing.

Day 86

he want on a trip today. Although he was busy and everything, he assured me that im not alone and i should not fear anything. Because he is always there for me.

Day 85

i hate this anxiety. I really hate it and im scared of it. I hope it doesnt start this week. I cant cope with it.

He told me if anything happened i must call him. He said never be afraid while im around.

I will do my best.

Day 84

“i will hang so many pictures of us in our house that you would have to go outside when you want to video call with your mom.” i said.

“There’s no need for that,” he replied.” I will tell them until then.”

Day 83

i am a dictator. A total self centered dictator and i can not help it. Although i usually play logically but still, it is really hard to communicate with me.

But he knows how to get inside. I put down half the dictatorship when im with him. He is so precious to me.

Day 82

i often think of the things i have done. The choices i have made, which where so damn poor, and the people i met and left behind in the past.

I think this is a way of universe for rewarding me. This love, this deep happiness, i dont know if im lucky or i really deserve it?

The only thing that bothers me is the stupid overthinking. I studied neuro the past month and it didnt help. And now im studying infectious disease, certainly will not help. What if he gets sick? All those weed and cigarettes ... he promised he’d be ok. But it really doesn’t make any difference:(

Day 81

” you just complain and talk and i will listen.” He said, while cooking his dinner.