Day 20

his friends gf comments on his pictures and it really makes me angry and he likes my jealousy.

I gotta do something about her.

Day 19

my best friend is acting like a bitch. Her actions made me sad today, but then i remembered that i dont need them. I have HIM. And he and my family are all i need.

Day 18

he video called at 0600. He showed me a lake. It was absolutely perfect. And there were big rocks, which you can sit on, near the lake. And there was a bridge on it. It was amazing.

He told me i miss you, i wish you were here. We would sit on this rock and watch the scenery. I agreed.

He makes me feel so good.

Day 17

he was all over me today. He obviously was trying to make things right. He didnt want me to feel lonely. He IS the love of my life afterall.

I won’t change him for the world.

Day 16

i was right. He loved it. Im so glad i made him happy.

But everyone was right. He has changed. I told him we barely talk and he said im sorry. Im really busy, i cant give you more time.

He has like 5minutes for me, what he meant. Im a passing thought i guess.

What can i do? I understand he is busy. But he shouldnt have said that. He shouldnt have said i cant give you more time. After all i did for him, i didnt deserve that.

Im sitting on my bed crying. I feel so lonely. So so lonely...

Day 15

the good news is, i passed my exam.

Since i couldnt give him an actual gift, i made him something. He is going to love it. 

Day 14

it is his birthday today. I made sure to be the first one to tell him. He had a meeting, it went great. Everything is good.

Im just really stressed out for my exam tomorrow.

Day 13

maybe i AM paranoid. He got his new house today and the first thing he sent a pic of was the doll i gave him. He put it om his bed. It was so cute i almost cried lol.

I feel better :)

Day 12

I thought about this, but i wouldnt believe it might happen. He has no space for me in his life. At least, thats what i think. He says thats not true. He says he is just busy. Maybe he is right. He just got there. He hasnt settled down yet, but still... i feel left out. Its not like he has other girls around. No. He just doesnt have time for me. He said he is sorry that he cant talk to me much and he is worrying about me, but i think he could make time if he wanted to. Right? 
He wakes up, says good morning. Maybe sends a pic. And i almost hear nothing from him until when i wake up next morning and he is sleeping. Sometimes. 
Some evenings he sends me a pic of a beautiful lake or a squirrel or something.
Thats it. I havent talked with him about me. He is not interested in my life anymore, i guess. There are things that i can only tell him and he is not there. Im under pressure. I had a lot of stress this week. Still have.
Maybe he HAS changed. Maybe others were right. Maybe this wont work.
I hope it does.

Day 11

Nothing happened. Nothing.

Im afraid...